I woke up with a racing brain this morning. I tried to lie in bed and calm it down but the thoughts are bouncing around like a dozen Energizer bunnies. I admitted defeat and went to the kitchen. I found nothing nothing but cereal to eat so I pulled out my favourite Anna Olson cookbook and decided to make pastry for danishes. They won’t be ready until late tomorrow morning but making the pastry helped to cool my mind down. I used to rush through the steps looking ahead to the finished product but now I only allow myself to do one little step at a time, constantly checking the recipe and gathering ingredients and putting them away as I go. I pretend each time that it’s my first time baking. When my OCD habit of rearranging words pops into my head, I focus on the next step. If I dissociate and feel like I’m sitting far away at a window sill, I again focus on the next step. Each step individually is simple, even if the recipe overall is complicated, so it’s a good time to practice returning myself to the present moment. I love kneading dough by hand and feeling it change texture under my palms. And I love playing with raw eggs and feeling the egg white drip through my fingers. In a few hours I’ll roll out the dough again, and I’ll watch the chunks of butter change shape with each rolling. Tomorrow I’ll get to eat them, but for today I’ll enjoy my brain being a touch quieter than it was when I got up.

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