This photo of the sticky notes is making me vibrate. I feel like my arms are on a spin cycle and my hands and lips feel cool and buzzy. The shadows are bad, the edge of the countertop is bad, and the bit of orange chair? Super bad. And of course, it’s also upside-down. My psychologist tells me to keep doing things imperfectly to trigger the anxiety that is causes and get through it. It’s supposed to get easier but so far it’s not. Each time I do it, I prove to my OCPD brain that it’s okay, but so far it’s not listening. Stubborn, just like my parents told me I was.
In the meantime, I have to find a way to get to Costco. I could go to the close one, but it happens to be one of the busiest Costcos in the world, or I could drive in the snow to the quiet one at the edge of the city. Both make me nervous and I don’t think I’ll choose until I’m in the car and driving down the alley. Oh, and I need to make a to-do list: don’t forget to read your library books (are any due? Better check. I’ll be right back). Oh, and mail the thank-you cards, and find your Mickey Mouse bag, oh and blow out the relaxation candle before you go to Costco…the close one – gas is too expensive to warrant a trip out to the quiet one. Oh, I should eat.